literature

Honest Pretenses

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Literature Text

Ex threatens to jump off a public bridge?
Demolish the bridge.
Honest pretenses.

Little Bo Peep complains she lost her sheep again?
Call PETA.
Honest pretenses.

Man complains his back is cold as an Alaskan night?
Give him at hot frying pan.
Honest pretenses.

Supercilious friend complains she needs an ego boost?
Tell her she doesn't.
Honest pretenses.

Fledgling surgeon complains he's nervous for his first solo job?
Break his hands.
Honest pretenses.

Head chef complains he's out of sauce for his spaghetti?
Throw out the spaghetti.
Honest pretenses.
Written for English class in my twelfth grade year. 
Prompt:  using any three poetic devices, compose a poem based on themes expressed in an essay from the 50 Essays A Portable Anthology (2nd ed.). 
Essay chosen:  Stephen L. Carter's The Insufficiency of Honesty.
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